Another Wednesday. Another bender waiting to happen. I can’t help but notice a pattern as I tell our dancing waiter I’m not here to eat and just bring us drinks.
She gets it.
First time in my life I got fly-kicked by a dress. Dorothy Parker said “If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.” And I’m standing here without so much as a cake or balloons looking at a girl who could stop traffic. You know….coz she’s that hot.
We have a plan tonight and at the same time there’s that haunting uncertainty that goes along with my nights out and the way i order tequilas. I don’t know when it happened, but where you see shot glasses, I see candles. As the tray approaches our table it’s time to make a wish and the first shot lights a fuse and Jekyll promptly excuses himself before leaving the building.
There’s a glint in her eye, her dress, that devilish smile…..that fucking dress. Oh wicked woman, where have you been all my life? A temptress who could lead me to my doom if she wanted….drink my blood and i’d thank her after.
Bottom line is I’m glad I decided to wear undies tonight. The magic 8 ball at work said ‘prospect good’.
I always ask it the same question. 😏
About a year ago i posted “She’s gonna have to have tattoos” on Facebook and the universe must have been listening. What i didn’t ask for are girls who drink double gins the way she does, but i’ll take that too. We drink a lot.
It took me a while to warm up, but when you make someone ugly-laugh, you’re doing aright. Lots of pressure on guys when you’re on a date. On the way i became very aware of the fact that we’re stuck with our faces and women have the benefit of makeup. Can’t say I’ve ever had that thought, but the anticipation and not wanting to disappoint was intense…..all i have is gum. Fresh breath will be my saviour.
Where some might worry about being (catfished), my concern is always that i am inadvertently cat-fishing women. My Instagram makes me out to be an 8 when in reality i’m a 3 in a 6’s body. Now that I’m actively dating, I’ve stopped using filters….it’s pretty much all up to good lighting now. Makes it easier to explain why I’m not better looking in person. People wont tell you if they think you’re ugly. All their friends will know. I low key expected her to do a slow motion “Nooooooooo…” before turning and running for the exit after seeing me, but she stays.
We talk and laugh. Picking up where we’d left off online. She let me explore the restaurant alone and i came back having made friends with staff. I do great getting along with people who’s job it is to be nice to me. She’s hilarious and interesting and drinks.
Walking down Long Street holding hands….almost getting run over….that guy in that restaurant that was closed, but we just walked in. If only he knew. The lights, the sounds and the shadows. The darkness loved us….the alley…..my beating heart…her skin….the unicorn.
Tomorrow she leaves town. It’s possible that I might never see her again. In one night I think she’s seen the highlight reel of me. Nothing held back. Got a little glimpse of my pain and caused some herself. #ouchies
I walked into her balcony door to top off what was by MILES AND MILES AND MILES and light years the best first date ever. Chuck Palahniuk said it best “A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection.”
All that’s missing is an airport scene where i stop her seconds before she boards her plane and convince her to stay, but that’s how love stories end….and this is not that.
A Guy with Kids 